Clues that Ransom and Holster have collected on Bitty’s secret boyfriend
- It’s a guy (dhu)
- He’s athletic (because Bitty likes them that way, refer to Ransom’s Excel sheet on dudes Bitty has dated, made out with, hooked with)
- He’s tall and bigger than Bitty (that’s not hard, but Bitty has been seen wearing bigger shirts lately)
- He’s an old Samwell student (Dex hard heard Bitty say “Oh honey, remember the Quad? They added new trees, they’re lovely-” over the phone)
- He’s handsome and was featured in The Swallow’s most beautiful people (Overheard by Nursey- ”Well, is that award more important than your face on The Swallow’s list of most beautiful people? Because I KNOW your mom has it framed on your trophy shelf.”)
- He’s an OLD MEMBER OF THE SMH TEAM OMG (BECAUSE ONE OF THE OVERSIZED SHIRTS BITTY WEARS TO SLEEP IS A RATTY SMH ONE OMG OMG OMG)
- HE ACTUALLY LIVED IN THE HAUS WHAT IS THIS I CAN’T BREATHE (Overheard by Chowder- “Ransom and Holster are making the frogs work for dibs- not like you, love, you gave your dibs in a very noble way-” Chowder would not stop !!!! while handing that information)
- HIS NAME STARTS WITH A J (AS SEEN ON BITTY’S PHONE NEXT TO AT LEAST THREE HEART EMOJIS OMG OMG OMG)
- Ergo: Bitty’s secret Boyfriend is John Johnson the Goalie.
