A sneak peek of my piece for MOUTHBREATHERS; a Stranger Things zine! It will be available for purchase at SPX this year
Brad Pitt as Rusty Ryan
OCEAN’S ELEVEN (2001)
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i love writing luke’s tendency to be a feral little man like Yes he’s the savior of the galaxy Yes he’s a pure hearted beam of sunshine BUT he came from a hick town in the Outer Rim with nothing to do but hang out in bars and use ROUSes as target practice AND he shares DNA with anakin skywalker so he can drink Han under the table and thinks traffic laws are a joke send tweet
Luke Skywalker, from a planet that does not have driver’s licenses: Wait, those numbers on the signs are supposed to be your maximum speed? I thought they were a minimum! And, officer, I thought we were just racing. I was confused by your rad flashing lights and your sweet bass-boosted soundtrack.
Traffic Officer, who may be slightly Mind-Tricked and is also not paid enough to deal with a Skywalker today: They are pretty rad, aren’t they?
The okay half of the Star Wars fandom is actually awesome
OFFICIAL UNITED STATES HAS BEEN BANNED
Pls spread the word. They have been a consistent content Crestor on this website since back in the day. They deserve their account reinstated. Follow their twitter as well
“Beauty Tahani wants to battle!”
“Trainer Chidi wants to battle! …Maybe? Actually, hold on, he isn’t totally sure yet. Trainer Chidi is debating the ethical implications of Pokémon battles with himself. It’s… taking a while. Maybe you should just go.
Trainer Chidi… has a stomach ache.”
“Holy shirtballs! Trainer Eleanor wants to battle!”
“Oh, dip! Trainer Jason wants to battle!
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“Trainer Janet wants to battle, and she can absolutely assure you that she does not have a Maractus!”
“Elite Four Michael wants to battle! (He’ll meet you in the dot of the “i”)”